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"How a Home Office Will Suit Your Home and Family"

by Azriela Jaffe, Author of Honey, I Want to Start My Own Business, A Planning Guide for Couples

I learned from my interviews with home based entrepreneurial couples, and from my own experience, that no fixed rules exist, and the home office environment that delights one couple could be another couple's worst nightmare. Contrast these two life stories:

"My husband and I have an unusual relationship. Since we work out of the house, when we're up against a deadline, we can be together 24 hours a day, for a week at a time. We love being in each other's company and haven't gotten sick of each other, even after 24 years of marriage. Our friends think we're nuts, but it works for us".

-catalog sales entrepreneur

"I attribute my divorce to trying to work with my wife out of a home office. She drove me insane and the constant fighting killed our marriage and our business. I wish we had moved the business out of the house before it was too late. Maybe it could have saved our marriage. If I ever remarry, I wouldn't risk a home office again. I think they're dangerous!"

-homebased franchise owner

If you are considering working in a home office, and you're not sure how well suited that scenario would be for your relationship and your business, take a moment to complete the assessment test below. If both you and your spouse will be working at home, complete the test separately. Although there are no inalterable rules for working successfully at home with a family, this test will give you a gauge for how difficult the challenge may be. Answer the questions honestly to give you an accurate assessment of the challenges ahead.

Exercise One: Assessing how a home office will suit your marriage and family

Score each question from 1 - 5.

(1) indicates strongly agree
(5) indicates strongly disagree.

Then total your points.

1. My spouse or significant other is enthusiastic about my working from home.
2. There is adequate room in our home to create a private office space where I can work uninterrupted.
3. I don't have children or elderly parents in my care, or if I do, they will be cared for during the day by someone other than me. If I am going to be their primary caretaker, I have reasonable expectations about how much work I will accomplish.
4. I am easily able to ignore household repairs and clean up, as well as the demands of my family if the need is not urgent and I have work to do. My spouse has reasonable expectations about how much household work I will accomplish while working from home.
5. I don't have any older children, or if I do, they understand about the home office and how they must conduct themselves in the house.
6. I can easily set boundaries around my work so that I spend adequate time with my spouse and children. I don't tend towards workaholism.
7. I have no personal addictions that may be exacerbated by working at home. (For example: overeating, sleeping, watching T.V., drinking alcohol ).
8. My spouse and I have talked a great deal about how our routines and the rules of the house will be altered to accomodate me (us) working from home.
9. I have the essential equipment I will need to operate a productive business at home, or we have enough capital to purchase what I need.
10. I am self-discplined, well organized, and a self-starter. The isolation of working from home doesn't scare me - I even look forward to it! I think my personality is well suited for working from home.
11. I don't mind family interruptions and distractions when I work, as long as I can get uninterrupted time when I absolutely need it.
12. My spouse and I handle transitions well; we are generally flexible and cooperative, and we work together effectively as a team to overcome any obstacles.
13. We have no choice other than a home office at this time, (or this feels like the most suitable alternative at this time).
14. Both my spouse and I have active support systems outside of our marriage which we can turn to if either of us needs support during the transition.
15. I'm not reluctant to pay for help from an outside advisor or counselor if I or we run into trouble.
16. The well being of my marriage and my family is my most important priority, above the success of my business. If working at home doesn't work for my family, or my spouse, I am willing to consider other options, even if it might increase the cost of operating my business.

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    How did you score?

    16-36 points: Good news! It appears that you have begun to prepare for the transition that a home office will bring into your family. You have considered some of the important issues that will arise, and you and your spouse appear to have a marriage conducive to making a home office work. There appears to be a good match.

    37 -58 points: Proceed with caution! You have some challenges ahead, but with increased preparation, dialogue and brainstorming with your spouse, and a lots of luck and hard work, you can pull it off. Don't underestimate the potential difficulties though. Make sure that you and your spouse read this chapter in its entirety, and discuss issues as they arise with your partner and your children.

    59 - 80 points: Trouble ahead! You either haven't thought through the implications of your home office on your marriage and family, or the early signs are that this could be a difficult and risky transition for you. You may want to consider other options, or, if that isn't feasible at this time, make sure that you and your spouse read this chapter in its entirety, and start talking about how you could make it work. You may want to hire outside help right from the start, to help smooth over the rocky points.

    Excerpted with permission of Azriela Jaffe from "Honey, I Want to Start my Own Business", a Planning Guide for Couples, HarperBusiness '96.